Category: Personal

Where have I been? Who’s this chick??

Where have I been? Who’s this chick??

First of all, the question no one asked, but I’m about to answer: Where have I been? School! I have by no means given up on art, but I have been very busy getting adjusted to a new school and keeping up with a college-level class. I have been drawing in my personal sketchbook and have been creating for my art class, but (as my followers can tell) I haven’t been as active on my blog.

have been in the planning phase for a webcomic that I hope to be able to create, although that may be in the far future. I am also participating in a couple of stories on Storium, so I can connect with other writers and hopefully improve my writing style. I’ve been working on improving my art and getting inspiration from other artists like Kasey Golden. I’m not dead! However, I’ve started focusing more on developing my artwork on my own instead of trying to maintain a regular blogging schedule.

Second question: Who is this girl? Like I said, I have started using Storium, which a friend from my school recently introduced me to. I haven’t begun any games yet, but preparing for them has given me a reason to get back into character design. I wanted to participate in a friend’s science-fiction story, so that gave me a prompt to design a new character! I started thinking about things that weren’t done often in modern sci-fi stories, and then remembered a Kasey Golden video I watched with an alien who worked at a fast food restaurant. With this inspiration, I started designing my own character, and that’s how I came up with this cutie right here!

Sou Icon - Colored
She seems bored. Or fed up with someone? Maybe just tired!

This is Sourelise, or Sou. She belongs to a rat-like species of alien, and she worked in various fast food joints throughout the Milky Way before being hired on a starship. She doesn’t make friends easily, but she’ll have to learn to cooperate with her fellow crew members if she doesn’t want to go back to working at a burger restaurant on Pluto.

I’m experimenting with different ways of coloring, and it’s really fun to use digital programs to fill in my traditional lineart! It takes some getting used to, but I really like the way this piece turned out. I guess you could count this towards my series of animal girls? You know, since she’s based on a rat. Just kidding! I had a great time just designing a character for fun, and I hope to share more art with my followers when I find the time. I may use this character for my own projects in the future, but for now, I’ll just be playing as her on Storium.

Anyway, thanks for following me, even though I don’t post much. It means a lot to have people supporting me on my artistic journey! Until next time (whenever that may be), PenPrin out.



Wanted: Friend (Some Experience Required)

I’m going to be honest. When I say that, I don’t just mean for a sentence or two. This entire post is about me being as honest as I can. About myself, about my experiences, about everything. Oh, and maybe I’ll joke around a little.

Putting myself out in the open and asking, “Anyone wanna be friends?” makes me feel very uncomfortable and vulnerable. I have undiagnosed anxiety, meaning it doesn’t take a doctor to figure it out – I have anxiety!! (LOL) I don’t go out of my way to be around people, even people that I know. Even people that I like. It’s hard for me because I’m a person with very specific emotional needs.

Several years ago, from ages 5 to 7, this kind of thing wouldn’t bother me in the least. In fact, everywhere I went, I would walk up to other kids and greet them by saying, “Hi! I’m Lilli! Want to be my friend and play?” In about the sixth grade, though, I started to become much more introverted. It wasn’t really just “growing up,” but rather the people around me who taught me to be that way.

I have had some relationships with people whom, if I were to meet again, I would not choose to be around. I don’t regret knowing them, per se, because even though they weren’t the greatest people, they did shape me into the human being that I am today. For that, I’m grateful.

I want to live by the Bible verse Proverbs 13:20. It says, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.” I’ve been the companion of fools for a while, so I’m hoping to get in touch with some wise men/women.

Job Description

Since I’m a complicated person, I have somewhat-complicated needs. There are a lot of things I look for in a friend, so I think the best way to list them all is… in a list. Woot!

  1. Please don’t just become my friend because you find out I also like something you like. I’ve had a few friends who would only hang out with me because we had a few interests in common, and once one / both of us grew out of those things, the relationship became awkward and strained as we tried to figure out something to talk about. I would prefer to have friends I can connect to on a deeper emotional level – talk about serious feelings, ask each other for life advice, etc. 

    A long time ago, the only thing that brought me to a new friend was our shared interest in Minecraft. Also that we both liked to role-play, and not many other people in our class did. As we grew out of Minecraft, though, fewer and fewer things actually held us together. Interactions outside of our “fantasy world” became awkward and strained until we just stopped talking altogether. I really don’t want another repeat of that experience.

  1. Try to be open to new points of view outside of your own. I struggle with this as well, but it can be difficult to have a conversation with someone when they absolutely will not consider your views. Usually this hasn’t been a problem with girls I have met — mostly boys. Not trying to be sexist, that’s just what I’ve experienced in my own life. 
  2. Be a person who talks and listens relatively equally. I dislike it when people constantly steer the conversation towards themselves, but I also find it awkward when my partner in conversation is just staring at me, waiting for me to talk, or making random noises (eg. “meow” and “blargh”) to break the silence. 
  3. Try to just pay attention and be there when I’m explaining a problem I’m having. Unless I ask for advice, chances are, I don’t want it! I like having friends that I can talk / vent to. When I’m trying to express how I feel about an issue, I don’t always want help. More often than not I’m just talking about it to get it off my chest. If I want your perspective or your help, I will most likely ask for it. 

    I used to be really bad about this, and I feel terrible for some of the things I’ve said when I should have just been listening. A couple of years ago, an online friend of mine was once telling me about a negative experience that she had when talking to someone else online. She sent me screenshots of their conversations and overall seemed pretty upset.A normal person’s reaction: Wow! They seem pretty rude. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

    My reaction: What exactly is it that’s bothering you? Have you tried talking to them about it? Here’s how I think you should deal with the situation! [insert five-paragraph life-coaching session that would make anyone regret talking to me]

    If my friend had asked for advice, it would have been different, but she just wanted someone to relate to. I looked back on this interaction and realized that I would be very hurt and annoyed if someone did the same thing to me when I just wanted to talk. I want to be better about this, and I’d hope that my friends in the future would avoid doing that, too.

  1. Be willing to have fun and joke around! I have had friends who barely smile and can’t take a playful joke. It’s not very easy for me to be around them. I also don’t enjoy being in the company of people who can’t have fun playing a game. I’ll give an example / recount an experience when this happened. 

    I was having a Halloween party for six of my friends. I’m going to call these people A, B, C, D, E, and F to respect their privacy. During a previous hangout with just A, B, C and myself, we made up a game together with very few rules. Since it was so much fun with the four of us, I wanted to play with all six of my guests! D was alright with playing the game, but E and F really wanted to add more rules. They insisted that the game be more serious, and that it have mechanics like rolling dice to determine the outcomes of different in-game events. This lead to everyone arguing about how the game should be played instead of just going with the flow and having a good time. Because of this negative experience, I’d hope that my friends in the future are willing to be more spontaneous and less controlling. Rules are okay in life, and exist to protect us and others! However, it’s not cool to tack on unnecessary regulations to a silly game.

Those are some basic things that I would like to see in others. But it isn’t all about you! (LOL) Here are some things you should know about me and my personality.

  1. I’m shy at first, but… Those who really know me know that I have a penchant for cracking jokes and being very open about my feelings. But that’s only if you get past my “wall of introvert.” When I’m getting to know someone, I tend to walk on eggshells if I’m not yet sure what kind of person they are. This ends up leaving them with the impression that I’m always like that, but I actually have a very different attitude towards the people I know and trust. So if I seem different at first than I do later on, it’s because I’m starting to trust you more! Lucky you!! 
  2. I’m an artist. I enjoy being creative and I love composing music, drawing, and blogging. Because I enjoy being creative, I can be really emotional at times. I used to be very easily influenced by my environment, but right now I’m trying to figure out who I am rather than always trying to imitate what I see online and around me. 
  3. I am totally cool with my parents. A lot of teens my age either are indifferent to their parents or claim to hate them. Some have very good reason to! I know for a fact that there are a lot of not-so-great moms and dads out there. However, it’s my theory that most people just say they hate their parents to seem cooler. Again, I’m not saying that every person who dislikes their parents is doing it for popularity or to be “edgy”! It’s just… a lot of them might be. v(ouo)v

    What I’m getting at is that I don’t hate my parents. In fact, they’re kind-of my best friends right now! They’re really supportive and pretty good listeners. We all enjoy each other’s company and love joking around together. So, needless to say, I’m not too keen on disobeying them out of spite or anything. I wouldn’t really be the type of person who’d enjoy sneaking out late at night when they’re asleep or something like that. I don’t know anyone who’s tried to get me to do that, but I figured I’d put it out there just in case! I’m a good girl. :3 (LOL)
  1. I haven’t had a lot of Christian friends. A lot of the people I was around didn’t believe in God or Jesus for their own reasons. My ex-boyfriend actually put down my faith by saying that the belief in an afterlife is stupid (which is why he’s my ex, LOL). In addition, Christians around my age that I have met have never been very accepting of me, which is funny to me because the Bible teaches us to be loving and be a light unto others. I’m hoping that I can find a friend who believes in God and tries to be a kind person like the Bible tells us to be. 
  2. I want to get closer to God. I don’t reject people who aren’t Christian, but I dislike it when people tell me that my beliefs are dumb. I believe in God, I believe that Jesus is the Son of God, I believe that we require His Holy Spirit to be able to do good, and I believe that if we ask Him for forgiveness of our sins, we go to Heaven when we die. I request that people not insult me for believing these things, and I won’t insult anyone for believing anything else! I actually love learning about different religions and perspectives because I think they’re very interesting. IMO, most major religions have the same core values, which are love and peace. But that’s a tangent for another day! 😉 

    I really want to become a better person. I’ve already come very far from the person I was just last year, and I believe that if I let the Holy Spirit take control, I can be even better than I am today. I want to pray more when I’m in times of need, because too often I just forget to ask God for help in the heat of the moment. I want to start reading the Bible regularly, because I don’t. I want to be a light unto others, but usually I just shut myself away in my room and hardly talk to anyone. I don’t think that’s what God intended for me, and I want to start doing better. I hope that any friends I make in the future will support me in those goals.

Submitting Your Application

If you’ve read all of that and you’re still interested, then you’re likely either A – super desperate, or B – someone I’d be interested in pursuing a friendship with. Or C – someone’s mom. (JK) If I’m a little too emotional, jokey, intense, nerdy, artsy-fartsy, etc. for your taste, feel free to avoid me at all costs! If you’re here from my Facebook post – you’ve seen my profile picture! Avoid that face!! (LOL) But if you’d actually like to be my friend… well, this is the job for you. If you’re here from FB, then go ahead and message me, comment on the post, etc. I’d love to know more about you and who you are, but not in a creepy way (haha). Really, though – thank you for taking the time to read all this. I truly appreciate it.

After reading your application, I will get back to you within two to four business days. Thank you for your time! 😉

I’m Not Your (Stereo)type

I’m Not Your (Stereo)type

A while ago, I wrote an autobiographical piece which I submitted to a writing contest. I just heard back from them and I was not picked as a finalist, so I am now allowed to post the piece to my blog. Half-yay! *apathetic kazoo toot*

This piece is based on personal experiences that I have had during my time in middle school. Everything is based on true events from my life! Just wanted to put that out there. None of this is made up. Even though I wish some of it was. Sigh. Anyhoo, enjoy my account of what it’s really like to be a middle school student.

“I’m Not Your (Stereo)type” by Lillian Maggio (a.k.a. PenPrin)

Since I’m going into high school soon, I figured I might as well make my contribution to the “Life of a Middle School Student” genre while I still can. Middle school isn’t at all what children’s books would lead you to believe. In my experience as a dorky teen girl, I’ve found that not all people who wear nice clothes are rude. Not all parents are idiots who do nothing but ruin your life. It’s impossible to actually keep a journal without forgetting about it in a few weeks, and there isn’t a perfect boy. Oh, and not every geek is this kind, accepting person. Don’t believe me? I have five prime examples of how life is not like a book.

Trust me, I love a good story. I just wish that someone had explained to me the difference between stories and truth before I was tossed headfirst into a pile of tall, stinky children who refused to be called children anymore.

Example number one: Just this year in science class I was paired up with two girls who my past self might have labeled “popular.” They both had long, blonde hair. Before I got to know them, I probably thought they looked exactly alike, but now I can easily tell them apart. I was dreading having to work with them because I assumed they would be total divas. But guess what? They were actually really cool and fun to hang out with. They were kind to me and loved to crack jokes. I felt included, not isolated by them. I learned that a girl’s IQ can be greater than the length of her ridiculously short shorts. That would have been good to know three years ago.

Example number two: I once tried to keep a diary. My parents and I were at a convenience store and I spotted a tiny spiral notebook with a golden retriever photo on the front. I begged like the puppy on the cover for them to let me get it, and they did. As soon as I got home, I got out a pen and wrote “NO SNOOPING” with ten exclamation marks on the inside cover. I even journaled in it almost every day for a little while. Most of it was just me talking about video games I really didn’t know that much about and gushing over boys. I would draw in it, too, although my “style” of art wasn’t much to look at. It was a combination of me attempting to mimic Japanese cartoons and then just giving up and drawing stick figures. Eventually, though, the entries consisted of less talk about my life and more random ideas I had jotted down in boredom. After a while, I tore out a bunch of the pages and stopped writing in it. Commitment is way harder than “realistic fiction” books make it seem!

Example number three: From the time I was born, my parents have been there for me. My mom and dad didn’t look like your typical reality TV show parents. They’ve been struggling with being overweight for as long as I have known them, and they tend to be older than a lot of my friends’ parents. My mom usually had blonde hair, and recently she shaved the sides of her head. I think it makes her look really cool. My dad has gray hair, a beard, a mustache, and thick eyebrows like mine. Even though they fought a lot sometimes, they never got separated or divorced. They always entertained my endless stream of what-if questions until I had depleted their energy with my curiosity. They were the first ones to teach me how to read, and they actually cared about my education instead of just waiting for the day they could send me off to preschool. Even now, they let me talk to them about my problems and struggles during the time when I’m outside of their reach. Most other kids, real and otherwise, seem to despise the people who brought them into the world. For me, though, they’re my best friends, and almost always have been.

Example number four: In the sixth and seventh grade, I had a nerdy boyfriend. I did have a boyfriend before him, but this is a story about middle school, so I won’t count my fifth grade “relationship.” Anyway, in case you don’t know, a boyfriend or girlfriend in the sixth and seventh grade just means somebody of the opposite gender with whom you’re obligated to see every movie. He had short, almost-black hair and a freckled face. I think he was taller than me, but not by very much. He wasn’t the Prince Charming that overdramatic books had taught me that I deserved, and his normalness confused me. I felt like even though we said that our relationship was special, we just acted like friends. I came to the realization that, despite what the diary of a fictional teenage girl told me, I didn’t need a boy to feel good about myself. I broke up with him, and I haven’t dated anyone since.

I’m sure that you’ve been on the edge of your seat waiting for my final example, and I promise not to disappoint. It’s packed full of powerful experiences, controversial opinions, and pessimistic sarcasm. Plus, it’s longer than my four other examples, so you know it has to be good. Prepare yourself for the one and only example number five.

I’ve rejected people and been rejected by people. I’m not exactly a perfect protagonist, but I’ve come up against my fair share of bad guys. Not in the form that I expected (makeup-wearing divas dishing out weak insults), but antagonistic nonetheless. One girl had long, dirty-blonde hair and glasses. She was always extremely tall. Her parents were bikers, and she wanted to be one, too. She was just as wrapped up in her fantasy world as I was in mine, and because of it we fell apart in reality. Another had straight, dark brown hair that she usually wore up in a ponytail. This girl also wore glasses. She constantly acted like she was better than everyone else, but in reality she wasn’t actually all that smart. She clung to me and made me feel special for half a year, then left me in the dust when a new girl came along. Most recently, I found myself attached to a girl so desperately confused that she thought to be happy, she had to confuse me, too. Only the last of these three ever wore makeup as long as I knew them, but they all hurt me equally as bad.

The confused girl was short—shorter than me, and I’m only five feet tall. She went through a variety of hair colors. When I met her, it was faded green. Then black. Then teal on the bottom with pink on the top. I thought it was so cool, so I did weird stuff with my hair, too. It started out brown, my natural color. I convinced my mom to help me dye it purple, but the bleach made it light and we didn’t have enough dye, so it became orange and pink. Then I dyed it bright red to cover up the mistake, but it faded quickly, going back to pink and orange in a matter of weeks. Then I cut it short. Then I shaved the sides and left the top long. Then I think I tried purple again, but that faded, too. Then I dyed it bright red again. Finally, after my friendship with the confused girl had ended, I went back to brown and tried to grow it out. That’s where I am today, in the awkward trying-to-grow-it-out stage.

One day, after only a short time of us knowing each other, she told me that she was bisexual. Later in the year, she said that she was a lesbian and not bisexual. I didn’t question her at the time, but now I wonder why she had told a near-complete stranger such a personal thing about her as her sexuality. Maybe I’m just a massive prude and everyone else wears their sexuality on their sleeve, but I never thought it was the kind of thing you brought up in casual conversation with someone you just met. To me, sexuality is private; a personal thing. I wouldn’t go up to someone and proclaim my straightness at full voice. But maybe I don’t have to because people assume I’m straight. Just to be clear, I completely support people being whoever and whatever they are. It’s not that I don’t like people who are bisexual! I’m just uncomfortable that the confused girl was sharing such personal deets with me.

She asked me what I was, and I told her that I was straight, but didn’t like anyone at the time.

“So you’re asexual?”

“No!” I swear to God, confused girl!

Later in the year, sexuality came up again. This time, another girl was part of the conversation. She was tall, wore glasses, and had a whiny voice. Fun fact: tall girl is the same person my previous best friend left me for. I was trying not to hold a grudge, but it was hard because she’s kinda mean.

The friend-stealer walked up to the confused girl and me. “Hey, I heard you talking about being a lesbian,” she said to Confused. (By now, Confused was a lesbian and not bisexual anymore. I know, it’s hard to keep up.) “It’s okay, I’m bisexual.” (Seriously. Is everyone bisexual now and I just didn’t get the memo? How long has this been going on?) She looked at me. “Um, what are you?”

Now, I didn’t want to offend anyone, so I responded with the most politically-correct sentence I believe I have ever uttered. “Personally, I’m heterosexual and cisgendered, but I respect everyone whose preferences are different.”

“Then just say you’re straight. Otherwise you sound like a jerk.”

Well, shoot!

I’d like to reiterate that I’m totally okay with whatever anyone is, gender- or sexuality-wise. I just don’t want other people to make me feel like a bigot for being who I am, and that’s what the tall, friend-stealing girl was doing.

Anyway, the thing that confused me most about Confused wasn’t that she was almost-bisexual. It was that the things she liked changed on an almost-biweekly basis. At the beginning of the year, we bonded over a popular simulator game where you played as a Japanese schoolgirl murdering other Japanese schoolgirls. Then she introduced me to a game where, instead of defeating monsters, your goal was to befriend them. After that, I quickly lost track of what things she was infatuated with. I’m pretty sure that the list contained a relatively-old movie, a TV show about boys on a swim team in love, and a creepy-as-heck video game or two. I couldn’t keep up, and at the end of the year when I still liked the friendly monster game, she had probably been through at least ten other obsessions which she tried to force upon me.

After the school year had ended, Confused moved back to her home state, and I haven’t seen or talked to her since. She took me—an outgoing, innocent teen girl—and introduced me to things like yaoi (stories about guys in love), Tumblr (the website where teen girls post stories about guys in love), and ruining my hair beyond all recognition to attract people who liked the same things. Through the course of our friendship, I learned to shun everyone who didn’t act like me, including “jocks” and “popular girls.” The hardest part about being her friend was un-learning everything she had taught me once she was gone.

The world today usually doesn’t match up with the tropes and stereotypes of modern literature. The big problem is the people who think it does, and live their life as if they’re the main character in the story. Truthfully, we’re all supporting characters, and this story is about something much bigger than any one of us. Most of the time, you don’t actually get the “happily ever after” you’re expecting.

Sunshine Blogger Award

Crafty B, my mom and an amazing writer, nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award! It’s an award that you can give to authors who bring happiness (aka sunshine) into your life. With the award comes a short and fun writing game! I’ll try my best to follow the rules.


1.) Thank the person who nominated you in a blog post and link back to their blog.
2.) Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you.
3.) Nominate 11 new blogs to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.
4.) List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or on your blog. (I’m not sure where to find the logo! Sorry!)

Questions Asked of Me (my responses are in red)

1.) Why did you start a blog? I started a blog to show my artwork to the WordPress community.
2.) When did you start writing and why? I started writing this summer because my mom (Crafty B) encouraged me to just go ahead and start.
3.) Do you have a religious preference? You’re not dying. I am Christian, but I love finding out about other religions!
4.) Do you have other creative talents? I enjoy writing, drawing, and composing music.
5.) Are you an introvert or extrovert? I would say I’m a little bit of a mix. If left alone, I wouldn’t actively seek out new people, but neither would I intentionally avoid others.
6.) Are you in a relationship? If so, how do they feel about your writing? I’m not in a romantic relationship, no!
7.) Kids? I have no kids, because I am a kid.
8.) What is the one thing you want to do before you can’t do things any more? Okay, I lied, you are dying. Hurry! Aaaah! Um, I guess I’d like to find my “soulmate” and tell them how I feel.
9.) What do you enjoy doing when you’re not writing? I like playing video games and watching YouTube videos!
10.) If you could do anything without failing and money wasn’t a concern, what would you do? I would go work for Nintendo and make video games.
11.) Are you blogging in hopes of being discovered or just as an exercise in community and writing? I hope that I get discovered and can someday make a living by doing art!
12.) Have you published anything yet? I have published my art on WordPress. c: (But no, I haven’t published anything like a book or a play.)

I nominate:

Hell (They have some great artwork and characters!)
Aak fictionspawn (They’re a great writer of amazing and mysterious scary stories!)
Rohvannyn (Their site has a lot on it. I especially love their tips for artists!)
Cristian Mihai (A very cool writer!)
raulconde001 (Another awesome writer!)
Lucas Palhão (Yet another fantastic writer. I love the Word of the Day articles! Sadly, I can’t read Portuguese, so I have to read this blog using Google Chrome’s translations.)

And… I know that’s only six people, but I don’t actually know a lot of authors or artists on WordPress. The other bloggers I’m aware of were already nominated by my mom, haha. I’ve only just started out as a blogger, and I don’t spend a lot of time browsing for new content! If you have any recommendations of bloggers I should check out, leave them in the comments!

Questions For My Nominees (I might steal a few from Crafty B)

1.) What prompted you to start sharing your art/writing on the internet?
2.) What makes you inspired to write/draw? This could be a person, place, activity, etc.
3.) What is your biggest life goal?
4.) What qualities and characteristics do you look for in a friend or romantic partner?
5.) If you had a child or children, what would you want them to learn from you?
6.) What’s your favorite non-artistic hobby?
7.) What’s your favorite word, and why?
8.) Do you have any pet peeves? If so, what are they, and why do they bother you?
9.) Are you a night owl or an early bird?
10.) What’s your favorite type of weather?
11.) Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob? LOL!

To my nominees, I hope you have fun with these questions! That’s all for today, so thanks for reading my blog! Farewell for now, Citizens of the Pencil Princess.

Okay, one last thing. While we’re on the topic of sunshine, I have a cool design available in my store right now. It’s a simple sun logo with the text “If you’re not at the beach then you’re doing it wrong” on top! If you love the sun and the sand, this design is for you. As I write this, the design has not yet been approved by CustomizedGirl, but hopefully it will be by the time this post goes up. If so, it should be the first design available. Farewell again!